Never Start Dean Winchester Off About Pie!
by Scare4irony
Summary: Rule number one - Never talk about Pie in front of Dean Winchester. Rule number two - Little brothers always have permission to call Pie stupid. Rule number three - Never leave an angel alone with Pie. Humor fic about Dean, Sam, Castiel and Pie!


AN: Hi everyone, one of my light night musings PIE. And I mean late it's nearly one AM on the east coast of Aus so technically that's day... PIE. I had a sudden urge to write but I had no idea about what so I started off and eventually I ended up with PIE. I don't actually like PIE. But I think I like people who like PIE. Random!Fic with Sam, Dean and Castiel and cherry PIE. Did I mention the PIE?

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**Never Start Dean Winchester Off About Pie!**

Sam looked at Dean trying to read his expression. 'What?' The older hunter said gruffly, the day was so not going the way he planned. They were having trouble with his baby girl, he hadn't slept in over 48 hours and their latest hunt seemed to be going…well it seemed to be going no where. On top of it all Sam had told Dean that he wasn't the one who ate his pie.

'C'mon Dean!' Sam pleaded with his stubborn brother. 'It was just a piece of pie.' He turned his head in Dean's direction taking in his profile. Dean clenched his jaw and he was squinting his eyes. 'Do you want your sunglasses?'

'No!' Dean barked angrily. 'Sam, that piece of pie wasn't just a piece of pie and you ate it,' he started. Sam looked at him wondering if Dean had gone of his rocker. 'It was a cherry pie and you ate it,' he continued, not looking at Sam's direction, his grip ever becoming tighter on the steering wheel.

'Dually noted, but I didn't eat it.' Sam replied glancing at Dean.

'No, Sam that was my first pie in over four months and you ate it.' Dean first looked angry but then looked dreamily at the road thinking about pie.

'_Is Dean drooling?'_ Sam shifted his head closer to Dean's mouth watching a small line of saliva exiting from the corner of his mouth. _'Ewww! Gross!_ Sam's face was still in the vicinity of Dean's mouth which was making Dean shift uncomfortably in his seat.

'Mind telling me what your doing near my mouth Sammy?' He enquired.

'You're drooling.' Sam said as continued to stare at the trail of saliva.

Dean flicked his gaze to Sam who was still staring at his mouth. Feeling self conscious he licked his lips and shoved Sam out of his personal space. 'Sam, stop imagining things,' he said coolly.

'What? Dean you were!' Sam protested. His protest fell on deaf ears as Dean continued to talk about pie.

'You see Sam, God…wow he created pie.' Dean started waving his free hand around to emphasise his pie-point. Sam slumped his shoulder in weariness as he prepared himself for one of Dean's 'pie-is-my-equivalent-to-God-so-if-you-say-anything-different-so-help-me-God-I'll-kick-your-ass' speeches. 'As you know there are many types of pie, you have my personal favourite Cherry pie, but as you know Sammy, I never ever discriminate against any pie created whatsoever…unless of course Dad tried to make it.'

Sam gave a small snort of laughter as he recalled his fathers many failed attempt at cooking – especially pie. On Dean's 16th birthday John had insisted on baking a banana cream pie. Being John he truly made a banana cream pie, banana skins and all. Dean had nearly choked on one of them before Sam had to tell John that it was the inside of the banana that was needed and not the whole thing.

'…then there's apple pie and curry pie, stargazy pie and…seriously I have no idea what the hell that is…'

Sam wrinkled his nose in disgust, 'Man there is absolutely no way you can like stargazy pie.'

'Why the hell not?'

Slightly gagging Sam gladly explained to Dean what a stargazy pie was…

'No way!' Dean shrieked. Sam solemnly nodded his head. 'Fish pie! You really sure?' He asked. 'You mean fish…like tuna and pilchards and their heads are sticking up from the crust and stuff.' Dean said moving his hand simulating a fish head above a pie crust. Sam nodded his head again. 'Man! That! Is! So! Wrong!' Dean yelped. Sam laughed slightly but quickly shut up when Dean's bright green eyes burned a with suppressed anger.

'Sorry.'

'Yeah, bet your sorry ass you better be sorry.' Dean muttered under his breath. 'Any other weird pies I ought to know about?'

'You like pork pie?' Sam asked.

'Um…yeah I think I do? What? Why?' Dean asked full of concern.

'I think that it's preserved using pork jelly.' Sam said, gauging Dean's reaction.

Dean's eyes visually bulged out of his skull. 'I really don't think I want to know what that is.'

Sam smirked and proceeded to tell him anyway…which by the end of it left Dean paled face. 'Why does that bother you so much?' He questioned Dean innocently.

'I hate you.' Dean ground out slowly gnashing his teeth.

'Yeah, I know.' Sam said grinning.

They drove in silence, Dean was still brooding over his pie. As quickly as you could flip a light switch though Dean began his pie speech. 'Blueberry pie, that's pretty darned good, blackberry pie with whipped cream, man that is heaven.' Dean spoke as he slapped Sam's knee in content.

'What's like heaven?' A voice spoke up from the back seat.

Dean swivelled his head to the back seat only getting half way before a head popped out from the back seat. Sam's hazel eyes grew as he watched Dean swerve the car in fright. 'Son of a -?'

'Dean.' Sam warned equally frightened, not for himself but the poor soul that was going to get the back hand of Dean's verbal abuse.

'So what is like heaven?' Castiel repeated, staring at Sam intently.

Dean parked his baby girl on the side of the road before turning around the address the soft spoken angel. 'Someone had better be dying for you to be here,' he growled out at the angel.

'No, on the contrary my dear Dean I came to tell you that everything is fine at the moment.' He said as cheerily as he could manage for he couldn't manage an awful lot.

'So what in God name possessed you to grace us with your presence?' Dean said, patience with the world slowly wearing thin.

'God has not told me anything about His name and as for possession I am still in the same body that I have met you on numerous occasions.' Castiel said to Dean looking confused. He then turned to Sam looking for an explanation.

'Dean's angry because someone ate his pie. He thinks it was me.' Sam huffed.

'Yeah I think it was you because it was…you!' Dean bit back.

'No it wasn't.' Sam said.

'Of course it was! I locked the door on my way out!'

'Dean why the hell would I want to eat your stupid pie?!' Sam cried out in anger.

Castiel watched the banter between the brothers about a pie. 'What is a pie?' He interjected. Both brothers took no notice of him.

'Don't you dare say pie is stupid!' Dean said in a flared rage.

'Well it wasn't me who ate your pie. You are yelling about something that only kids would yell about. Grow! Up!' Sam yelled back into Dean's red face. 'We are arguing about a food Dean…a food!' Sam shook his head a bit ashamed that he let things grow this out of hand.

'What is this pie you keep talking about?' Castiel said a bit louder so he wouldn't be ignored. His blue eyes were scanning the brothers eyes, waiting for one of them to speak up.

'Pie is a baked dish, with a filling and a pastry top.' Dean said proudly, before he looked at Sam and added, 'And Sam ate it!' He yelled again.

'What was in this pie?'

'Cherry.'

'Oh.' Castiel said thinking about what he had done earlier in the Winchester's room.

'Oh what?' Sam said cautiously. Castiel looked a bit sheepish and Sam put together the puzzle. 'You?' He asked the angel. Castiel slowly nodded his head.

'You what?' Dean asked not seeing it.

'I apologize Dean. I didn't know.' Castiel said in a small voice.

'Didn't know what?' Dean sat there staring at Sam who made a face and shifted his head towards Castiel.

'Oh my God. It was you?!' Dean bellowed. Both Sam and Castiel winced as Dean started off a tirade about how Castiel should never enter their room and how Sam should punch the daylights out of him the next time he was accused off something.

Sam and Castiel both learned something that day on the side of the road. Never start Dean Winchester off about pie!

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AN: So what did you think about the PIE. I still don't like PIE by the way. See you soon, Luv Scare-PIE. PS the info about PIE is true. PIE!


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